Childs letter to Santa

[Mbailey33]

Dear Santa,
How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.
Merry Christmas,
...Timmy Jones
* *

Dear Timmy,
Thank you for you letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn’t want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I’ll bring you something you can go outside and play with.
Merry Christmas,
Santa Claus

* *
Mr. Claus,
Seeing that I have fulfilled the “naughty vs. Nice” contract, set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn’t want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don’t you think that a jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?
Respectfully,
Tim Jones
* *

Mr. Jones,
While I have acknowledged you have met the “nice” criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorney’s have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve your social skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.
Very Truly Yours,
S Claus
* *

Now look here Fat Man,
I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be disrespecting me. I’m about to tweet my boys and we’re gonna be waiting for your fat ass and I’m taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!
T-Bone
* *

Listen Pizza Face,
Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny G-banger wannabe? “He sees you when you’re sleeping; He knows when you’re awake”. Sound familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your s—t wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you’d throw up your Totino’s pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom’s basement. You’re not getting what you asked for, but I’m still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in you’re ass and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia.
S Clizzy
* *

Dear Santa,
Bring me whatever you see fit. I’ll appreciate anything.
Timmy
* *

Timmy,
That’s what I thought you little b@stard.
Santa

[Andys Delight]

 

I'll tell you what was funny, when I took Andrew to see Santa he told Santa that he wanted Hex Bugs.  They're cool little bug toys that he saw at a friend's house.  Well, Santa kept thinking he said X-Box, which he then kept saying over and over "well I hope you'll read some books too!".  My son is 4, I am not getting him an XBox lol!  I felt like I wasn't winning any parent of te year awards with Santa that night, no matter how many times we said Hex Bugs Santa heard XBox. 

[Ms Fish]

I'll tell you what was funny, when I took Andrew to see Santa he told Santa that he wanted Hex Bugs.  They're cool little bug toys that he saw at a friend's house.  Well, Santa kept thinking he said X-Box, which he then kept saying over and over "well I hope you'll read some books too!".  My son is 4, I am not getting him an XBox lol!  I felt like I wasn't winning any parent of te year awards with Santa that night, no matter how many times we said Hex Bugs Santa heard XBox. 

Now THAT is funny!  Come on Santa!!! What the heck dude!  he's FOUR!!!!! But kids seem much more in tune with all the electronics now that its all they play with. My neighbors, they are such good parents  , they tell the kids to go outside for at least a hr or more, shoot hoops or what ever. I don't think they mind it either! The seem to be having a blast when I see them! Yes, I join in!!!  I think it's just the way to be!! Hey we are 'big' kids and still get out and get our exercise...aside from other stuff we go fishing all year long! That counts!!! 

[fluke - u]

 

[paul-e]

Me thinks Santa had too much nog & grog.

[Hunter 2]

 Funny stuff.

[Kenny]

Me thinks Santa had too much nog & grog.

 

[Floatsup]

  LMFAO, good one Matt. Thats too funny also AD